Little Bridge House - Children's Hospice South West  Experience from The Secret Millionaire:
www.chsw.org.uk

I found a Charity shop in Barnstaple town, namely Children's Hospice South West and noticed a sign in the shop window saying they were looking for volunteers. Having spoken to staff in the shop I found out that there was a Children's Hospice called Little Bridge House just outside Barnstaple. I volunteered to spend the following day helping out at Little Bridge House the following day. When I first set eyes on the Hospice it seemed so well set up that I felt my help in funding would not be needed. Little did I know what was in store! I met with the Chaplain, yet another Geoff and helped him to prepare a room for a special needs child who was about to come and stay. Geoff explained to me how important it was to dress the room in such a way so that it makes the children feel at home. Geoff spoke in detail about the ethos of Little Bridge House and how important a facility it is for families who can share their experiences with other families who have similar highly dependent special needs children.

There was something special about Geoff although I could not pinpoint what it was - it seemed angelic-like.


One of the mums, Louise, introduced me her daughter, three and a half year old Emily. I helped Louise administer Emily's lunch through a stomach tube. I began to realise through speaking with Louise how difficult it is for parents with special needs kiddies. Louise invited me to take Emily to the 'Narnia' garden with Geoff - I was intrigued as to what this was! On reaching the Narnia garden Geoff explained that special needs children, although not always able to talk or who seem 'out of it', that they often respond to touch, sound and smell. The Narnia Garden had been built by Little Bridge House as a special place where children can explore. As I wheeled little Emily around the garden and banged the tubes and touched her arm as I spoke with her, I could see her responding with little smiles ... wow what a feeling that was. I was lost in time in the Narnia garden with all its little mirrors, scented planting, noises and even water jets, it was one of those special times in my life that I thank The Secret Millionaire for.


I went home that day with a feeling of enlightenment, partly through the Little Bridge House experience but mostly with the dulcet calming tones of Geoff's voice in my mind. Obviously I wanted to find out more and asked if I could volunteer for the next day also. "Yes of course!" said Geoff with that kind, knowing look in his eyes.


Geoff took me back the next day when we went to the Star Born Room. That is where the children lay after their death. I had to swallow hard as I had not thought too much about the hospice being where children can die. On entering the Star Born Room, an amazing feeling of peace washed over me, as I read messages left by families in the remembrance book I thought of my own experience of losing my sister, Julie. As a family we never had bereavement support and I know that I had not fully come to terms with the pain of Julie's death. Geoff showed me the chapel and the prayer tree where families had placed notes to their sisters, brothers, sons and daughters that had passed away.


Geoff could see my pain and spoke with me for what seemed a short time but was actually ages on my loss. The words Geoff spoke helped me come to terms with my loss. I only wish my parents had been able to seek comfort from a Geoff-copy. He told me how he runs a bereavement group for mums and dads but was limited with funding. I also asked Geoff how he coped with dealing with other people's loss of their children. He said he found it difficult at times although did turn to 'the big man upstairs' when in need.

Geoff guided me into a very sparkly room and one of the mums, Adele, was there with her daughter, Shannon. Shannon is 12 and a half and suffering from severe Retts. On speaking with Adele unfortunately I was told that Shannon was getting worse with her illness and was given a short lifespan. Adele described to me a typical daily routine as I helped her massage Shannon's legs. Adele told me that, on average, she got two hours sleep a night because of Shannon's high needs. Adele had two other daughters with her who are perfectly able-bodied, called Amber and Taylor-May. When Adele said the name 'Amber' I was taken aback because I had just spent lots of time at the Amber Foundation. Adele looked a little tired and explained how much Little Bridge House meant to her - as a place where she could chill out while the care staff helped with Shannon and another lady who ran the siblings group, also called Adele and who looked after Amber and Taylor May.

Adele said she had met another mum called Louise through Little Bridge House and invited me to spend time with them later that day to discuss, away from the children, exactly what looking after a high dependant special-needs child was like. The one point that really impressed me was the unconditional time, effort and most importantly love that Adele showed towards Shannon. We arranged to meet up later with Louise in the Little Bridge garden where Little Bridge House takes its name from.


My next mission was to meet Adele, the sibling group leader. Adele got me involved in helping the sibling group and Amber, Taylor- May, their grandma and I made 'gloop', a very messy fun glue. The children thoroughly enjoyed making me all messy and Adele, siblings leader (are you keeping up?) explained how important it is to look after the brothers and sisters of special needs kiddies when their families visit, to give some much needed quality 'me' time to the siblings as well as the suffering children. As we played I noticed that Adele had a false arm. Me being from Wales and a bit nosey, I asked how and why she had lost her arm. Adele explained how her arm had to be amputated to save her life and as a result of being close to death she has chosen to help others and loves working as sibling group leader. She said she was limited by funds and could not carry out a lot of special activities with the sibling group as a result of her physical disability. Adele again impressed me so much with her dedication and interaction with the kiddies.


I was beginning to realise that Little Bridge House is a very special place indeed and despite my first thoughts there were areas in which I could perhaps help. Later that day, as I strolled through the beautiful grounds of Little Bridge House with Adele, Shannon's mum and Louise, Emily's mum, this feeling was further endorsed as they shared their views on Little Bridge House. When we got to the bridge I asked both mums if they had any wishes. Louise replied: "I would love to take Emily to Walt Disney World in Florida, alas it's not going to happen as we can't afford it. Adele said she had always wished for Shannon to swim with Dolphins. She felt that the opportunity had been lost because of finance and due to the fact that Shannon's condition was getting worse so there would be little time left where it would be possible for her to fly. I immediately wanted to make their wishes come true but first wanted to find out more about what its actually like to cope at home with a special needs child, away from the comforts of Little Bridge House. Adele invited me to visit her home to find out.


Now I was beginning to get torn between helping one of the mums or both or whether to donate to Little Bridge House? Seeing first-hand how difficult it is in the home environment and how Adele did whatever it took to be sure that all of her children were having the best love and care, humbled me hugely. I'm lucky and blessed enough to have three perfectly able children that I cherish and wondered how I would cope if placed in Adele's position. To this day I don't know how she does it.


After huge deliberation and by far the most difficult decision of all, I decided on the following:- Little Bridge House would receive funds from me to be used for the sibling and bereavement fund. Difficult enough alone as there are so many deserved areas and staff at this wonderful Hospice.


To cover the costs of sending Emily, Louise and her husband Ben to Walt Disney World Florida and Shannon, Adele, Amber and Taylor-May, also to visit Florida for Shannon to swim with dolphins, I needed to do some research into the extensive logistical requirements relating to such a trip - and boy did this trip have a long 'to-do' list. In total, this fun-filled group gift included flying both families to Florida Premium Economy with Virgin Atlantic Airways, together with passes to swim with Dolphins at Discovery Cove, hotel costs, attraction passes, insurance, etc, I have to add that Virgin Atlantic Airways were amazing supporting us with logistics and upgrades wherever possible. Thank you to them and to my team back home in Wales who were fantastic.